Showing posts with label Stupid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stupid. Show all posts
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Funny Joke
So after landing my new job as a Walmart greeter I lasted less than a day. about 2 hours in my first day on the job a very ugly loud mean woman cones in yelling and cussing at her 2 kids.
As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, good morning welcome to Walmart. nice children you have are they twins. The woman stops yelling long enough to say hell no they aren't twins. One is 7 And the other one is 10.
Why would u think their twins? are u blind or just stupid?
So I replied, I'm neither blind or stupid ma'am, I just can't believe anyone would fu** you twice. Have a good day and thank you foe shopping at Walmart.
As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, good morning welcome to Walmart. nice children you have are they twins. The woman stops yelling long enough to say hell no they aren't twins. One is 7 And the other one is 10.
Why would u think their twins? are u blind or just stupid?
So I replied, I'm neither blind or stupid ma'am, I just can't believe anyone would fu** you twice. Have a good day and thank you foe shopping at Walmart.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Passing Out
This is what will happen if u pass out when your drunk next to people you hardly know. Well it can happen around people you know very well also. LOL
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
The Librarian
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says; "F*** off, you won't bring it back."
The librarian says; "F*** off, you won't bring it back."
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
I can't swim Dave! I can't swim!
Dave walks into the bar and sees his friend Bob. Bob seems very happy and is in a great mood. Dave asks, "Why you so happy today Bob?" Bob replies, "Well Dave, I was polishing my boat yesterday and this really hot chick asked me if she could ride in my boat. So of course I said yes. I rowed us out to the middle of the lake and said, 'You can either screw me or swim back!' She couldn't swim Dave! She couldn't swim!"
The next day Dave walks into the bar and sees Bob, all happy and content again. "Why you so happy today Bob?" he asks. "Cuz Dave, another hot chick asked me for a ride in my boat and so I took her to the middle of the lake and said 'You either screw me or swim back!' She couldn't swim Dave! She couldn't swim!"
The next dat Dave walks into the bar and sees Bob crying and sobbing hopelessly. "Why you so sad today Bob?" he asks. "Well, another hot chick asked me for a ride in my boat so I said yes. I took her out to the middle of the lake and said 'You either screw me or swim back!' Then she stood up, pulled her pants down and whipped out a D***! I can't swim Dave! I can't swim!!"
Sent from Dirty Jokes http://bit.ly/c7eBnB
The next day Dave walks into the bar and sees Bob, all happy and content again. "Why you so happy today Bob?" he asks. "Cuz Dave, another hot chick asked me for a ride in my boat and so I took her to the middle of the lake and said 'You either screw me or swim back!' She couldn't swim Dave! She couldn't swim!"
The next dat Dave walks into the bar and sees Bob crying and sobbing hopelessly. "Why you so sad today Bob?" he asks. "Well, another hot chick asked me for a ride in my boat so I said yes. I took her out to the middle of the lake and said 'You either screw me or swim back!' Then she stood up, pulled her pants down and whipped out a D***! I can't swim Dave! I can't swim!!"
Sent from Dirty Jokes http://bit.ly/c7eBnB
Wal-Mart Greeter
So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, I lasted less than a day.....
About two hours into my first day on the job, a very loud, ugly, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids cursing and yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, "Goodmorning and Welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say "Hell no! They ain't twins. The oldest one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind or stupid?"
So I replied, "I am neither blind nor stupid Ma'am, I just couldn't believe that anybody would f*** you twice. Have a good day and Thank You for shopping at Wal-Mart."
Sent from Dirty Jokes http://bit.ly/c7eBnB
About two hours into my first day on the job, a very loud, ugly, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids cursing and yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, "Goodmorning and Welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say "Hell no! They ain't twins. The oldest one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind or stupid?"
So I replied, "I am neither blind nor stupid Ma'am, I just couldn't believe that anybody would f*** you twice. Have a good day and Thank You for shopping at Wal-Mart."
Sent from Dirty Jokes http://bit.ly/c7eBnB
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Blonde Moment!!!
A Blonde in Church
An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, 'Someone in this
congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan..
congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan..
This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate.
I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian Family.'
No one moved. The preacher continued, 'Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression.'
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
The Flash
Fred was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera.
He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit even though he knew that he was not speeding.
Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.
Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area once more, but the traffic camera again flashed.
He tried a fourth and fifth time with the same results and was now laughing as the camera flashed while he rolled past at a snail's pace.
Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.
You know, sometimes you just can't fix stupid.
He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit even though he knew that he was not speeding.
Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.
Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area once more, but the traffic camera again flashed.
He tried a fourth and fifth time with the same results and was now laughing as the camera flashed while he rolled past at a snail's pace.
Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.
You know, sometimes you just can't fix stupid.
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